It's not an older sister rant today - it's a tax bitch today. I filed long ago because I needed to get the most I could have out of my FAFSA, but today, I get a 1099 from Morgan Stanley Smith Barney showing that I took out over 30K last year. I had thought for sure that I had finished withdrawing from that fund, but I was wrong, so..ok.. I amended my taxes through TurboTax and THANK YOU FOR THE FUCKING HEADACHE TURBOTAX. Never again. I'll pay the price for a CPA for the rest of my life to not have to deal with this shit again.
I've been sober a month now. I'm pretty proud of myself, even though I'm starting over.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Hell, it doesn't suck so much to be an older sister. We just get blamed for everything the younger one does. Or the younger one gets to do more than we did because our parents wizened up and knew what the fuck we were doing....and therefore hoped the younger one wasn't doing the same. I know my sister wasn't doing the same. She had a smart head on her shoulders.
I'm not sure if this fits in with being the older sister, but I hope I can get this out in the blogosphere. I've been struggling with my sobriety for a long time now, and I've recently relapsed. I don't even like to say that...I've lapsed in my sobriety, I guess. I am NOT where I was over a year and a half ago...so I don't like the word relapsed...I'm not that person. I'm a completely different person. I don't think it's fair to say I'm back at the beginning again, because I'm not. I've learned from my mistakes. Because I drank again doesn't mean I'm back at square one again. I made a mistake. It was a shitty mistake, granted, but I didn't fall all the way down the stairs. I KNOW why I went back to the bottle (or the can, in my case). I know where I need to start again...I don't need the coddling of older members to tell me that I'll make it one day.
I'll make it if I want to make it. I can't say that I won't ever drink again. I won't know that until the day I meet my maker. But I won't let any doctrine tell me that I'm a failure for making a mistake. Yes, taking a drink as an alcoholic is a pretty fatal mistake, but it is NOT something that we can't come back from.
Don't write us off. We keep trying.
I'm not sure if this fits in with being the older sister, but I hope I can get this out in the blogosphere. I've been struggling with my sobriety for a long time now, and I've recently relapsed. I don't even like to say that...I've lapsed in my sobriety, I guess. I am NOT where I was over a year and a half ago...so I don't like the word relapsed...I'm not that person. I'm a completely different person. I don't think it's fair to say I'm back at the beginning again, because I'm not. I've learned from my mistakes. Because I drank again doesn't mean I'm back at square one again. I made a mistake. It was a shitty mistake, granted, but I didn't fall all the way down the stairs. I KNOW why I went back to the bottle (or the can, in my case). I know where I need to start again...I don't need the coddling of older members to tell me that I'll make it one day.
I'll make it if I want to make it. I can't say that I won't ever drink again. I won't know that until the day I meet my maker. But I won't let any doctrine tell me that I'm a failure for making a mistake. Yes, taking a drink as an alcoholic is a pretty fatal mistake, but it is NOT something that we can't come back from.
Don't write us off. We keep trying.
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